Body consciousness is not the only distraction women experience during sex. Women often worry whether the kids are asleep, if the dog has been fed, or what’s on their to-do list. Such distractability may reflect the multiple roles women fill today. But evidence suggests otherwise. Women generally experience less concordance than men do between what goes on in their heads and what goes on in their loins.
Until recently, physical arousal and subjective arousal were thought to be mutually dependent – that a man who has an erection or a woman who has increased blood flow to her genitals also feels sexual desire. But such linkage is more the case for men than for women. University of Toronto sexologist Meredith Chivers recently analyzed 132 studies in which men and women’s level of genital arousal was measured while they watched erotic videos. Men’s reports of how aroused they felt closely correlated with genital measurements. Not so with women.
University of Toronto sexologist Meredith Chivers recently analyzed 132 studies in which men and women’s level of genital arousal was measured while they watched erotic videos.
Which may explain why Viagra doesn’t work for women. It increases genital blood flow and puts genitals in an aroused state – but women didn’t subjectively feel sexual desire, and they care more about subjective arousal. It also corroborates the experience of men who report themselves confounded when they touch their partners and feel them aroused only to hear their partners say that they just aren’t feeling that into it.
Chivers meta-analysis showed that women with any of various types of sexual dysfunction had lower concordance between genital and subjective arousal than did the control groups of sexually functional women. Other studies have found women reporting high rates of orgasm during sex have concordance rates of genital and subjective arousal. The more that mind and genitalia are in sync, the less problematic a woman’s sex life seems to be.
But the relationship between subjective and genital arousal is not static. The longer women watched erotic videos, the more concordance they experienced. Women may just need more time for their minds to catch up to their bodies – perhaps explaining why they want more foreplay. Also, the more the videos varied the levels of eroticism – heated up and then cooled off – the more concordance women reported. All that waxing and waning of genital responses just may force women to notice them more.
Most women aren’t very in tune with their genitals. We are socialized not to pay attention to them. The female genitals are smaller, less intrusive and the changes in them are more subtle, not enough to give a woman intense feedback and a feel-good urge. If men have a raging erection they are going to notice it. And follow through.
The difference in arousal concordance between men and women may be purely a matter of biology. Studies show that men are more in tune with what is going on in their bodies than women are. They have more so-called interoceptive awareness, e.g., they are more aware of their heart rate than women are. Perhaps the higher male concordance in arousal exists because men take their cues primarily from what is going on in their bodies whereas women are attuned to more – the context as well as their beliefs and attitudes about sexuality.
Photo by DavidChief
