Infidelity makes for a great headline. In the past year alone, you could have turned your TV on at practically any moment and seen a story about infidelity revolving famous individuals like John Edwards, Mark Sanford and Jesse James. As viewers, we crave the drama and the inside look of what are meant to be private lives of the rich and famous. But it’s not just the men. Although studies show that men are more likely to cheat than women are, infidelity is not gender specific. The question that crosses everyone’s mind is always why? Why did they do it?
Marvin Zuckerman, psychologist and author of “Sensation Seeking and Risky Behavior”, would characterize cheaters as sensation seekers. They can never have enough excitement in their lives. They are always seeking the newest thrill. According to Zuckerman, the brains of men like Jesse James and Elliot Spitzer produce lower levels of monoamine oxidase A. This chemical controls the level of dopamine in the brain, and dopamine is associated with the pleasure side of the brain. Dopamine is typically released through experiences like eating, sex and sometimes even aggression. Dopamine is said to be the chemical released in the brain during experience of romantic love. Unfortunately for sensation seekers, they are constantly looking for those extreme feelings. Things need to be very intense for them; those are the types of emotions they consistently seek. Not only are they constantly hunting for their next big thrill, but they also do it without concerning themselves with the consequences. The risks do not matter; in fact, it makes it even more intense which is exactly what they’re searching for. After this behavior starts to become habitual, it makes it harder for the person to step back and analyze the risks. The risks just become part of the game.
Although studies show that men are more likely to cheat than women are, infidelity is not gender specific.
High levels of testosterone, which is linked with feelings of lust, are typically found in cheating men. These high levels of testosterone create a higher sex drive in men and an excitement for risk-taking, competition and aggressiveness. The more success these men experience the higher the levels of testosterone, and when they experience failure, the testosterone levels decrease. These facts make it a bit easier to see why men who are characterized as sensation seekers tend to have multiple affairs.
Another chemical that can be attributed to the act of engaging in extra-marital affairs is oxytocin. Oxytocin is characterized as the cuddle hormone, because it is attributed with the attachment and intimacy side of a relationship. Oxytocin typically plays a bigger role in cheating women than in cheating men. Women who cheat on their husbands are more than likely looking for a soul mate. They are seeking someone with whom they can share their secrets, someone they can feel connected to in an emotional sense. This doesn’t mean that men may not be looking for this same type of affair. However, sensation seekers are mainly guided by their cravings for pleasure in a sexual way.
According to scientists these chemicals play a large role in men and women who engage in extra-marital affairs. However, as a viewer, I will continue to come up with my own theories.
